Oh great, another blog taking up bandwidth. Another monkey in front of a keyboard pecking letters, forming words, articulating experiences, making assumptions, saying what's already been said better by more brilliant minds. My name is Derek, and I am officially (again) a blogger. What that means is that for some unknown reason, I think my thoughts are worth writing down and submitting to other sentient beings for consideration. And what makes me think that? Hubris? Meglomania? Or just plain garden-variety pretentiousness? Yes, probably. I think anyone who blogs has a healthy balance of all three. But I guess I blog in the hope that they can be transcended and some meaningful interaction can transpire anyway.

That can only happen if I am as real as I can be about who I am. Not who I wish I was. Who I am. And who am I? I am someone who has to ask that question a lot.

My exterior identifiers tell me that I am a male of European descent, early thirties, somewhat creative - meaning that I daydream a lot, and sometimes find ways to sketch out the daydreams with words - I have a wife and two daughters. I change a lot of diapers. They wake me up a lot in the middle of the night. Like a lot of people, I struggle to keep up with all the bills. I watch the news and worry about global issues and the economy. I worry about the world my daughters will inherit. I worry about my daughters. The things they will go through that I can't fix or prevent. I am neurotic and pessimistic by default.

But then again, I am a Christian minister, and hopefully not in the worst sense of the term. Which means I don't want to be a Christian (or a minister) who unthinkingly reacts to life without wrestling with the gargantuan leaps of faith I am making. Who looks through eyes of love rather than of fear and suspicion. Who brings Christ with me wherever I go. I pray that this vision of my reality eclipses the pessimistic, neurotic side of me. I have been a Christian for roughly ten years. Before that I was a lot of different things. But today the only thing I care about being is a disciple of The Way that Jesus of Nazareth introduced 2,000 years ago in the backwoods of Palestine. And I realize that being a disciple of a Galilean Rabbi who walked this earth 2,000 years ago is hardly a simple thing. There are all kinds of contextual considerations, there are mystical realities that must be experienced, there is continual doubt that must be faced head-on, and there is joy to be tasted as well as sorrow to be bitterly choked down. In short, there is life to be lived.

So that's a brief doodle of my perspective. I used to have a blog called "Shards Of Eternity" and the best pieces from that blog can be found in the free ebook "Altar of Uncut Stones" in the sidebar. I have changed a lot since I wrote it, but most of it still holds up. But back then I treated the blog as a more literary endeavor. I have since grown to appreciate the art of blogging in itself, as an open door for meaningful interaction and simply marking the road behind me. So the name of this blog is "Ragged Dreams and Tangled Prayers" because it is not going to be a meticulous arrangement of my finest literary moments. It will be a life-drenched scrapbook of who I am, what I'm thinking about and doing. I hope to be more interactive than I was on my last blog, and that includes book reviews, poetry, theological ruminations, exposure to the music I enjoy and maybe even some essays on the things in pop culture that I resonate with. It'll be ragged and tangled, but so is life, and so am I. Feel free to leave comments, but I can't promise that I will have enough leisure time to answer them all. I am slowly but surely working on a few book projects that will be available here when they are ready for release.

So that's the brief intro. Stay tuned for Rich Theological Content (TM) and maybe even some ensuing hilarity.

Grace and peace,
Derek Luptak
Show Low, AZ